I started this blog few months ago in an effort to cope with the loss of Clint, the love of my life. As I move through this journey, crawling much of the way, I realize that I need to say more. I have major depressive disorder, and combine with Clint’s death, it has taken more than its usual toll on me. I have begun another blog because I came to the realization that I was self-editing the posts and lying to myself and everyone else. I’m going to continue this journey right here and on the new blog, The Red Sweater, where I will deal more with my depression. The two are inextricably connected, but I need another forum for the times when I stand on the edge of the black hole or when I feel the monster called depression is stalking me. I need a place to write down the things that I least want to write.