I am brain weary and physically tired. Zona Rosa is always draining, and two nights with the Ducks takes a toll, mostly emotional. There is so much energy around this house, I feel as though I am in the middle of some sort of benevolent storm of love.
The children are in perpetual motion - kicking soccer balls, riding trikes and a little battery operated John Deer jeep, jumping on the trampoline and squealing with indescribable laughter as their father sprays them with the hose he has been hauling around the yard to water plants. They chase Lucy, the dog, and in turn are chased by her, all of the wearing looks of ecstasy. Little Pearl, the toy Maltese, wants in on the action but is banished to the house because she went to the beauty parlor yesterday
Little Michael insists on getting in the pool, though he has been warned it is too cold. He bravely I (and quickly) shivers his way around at a frenzied dog paddle before coming out, his skin a tone of purple and dotted with goose pimples.
The day is fine, and I take my study materials out onto the breezeway and use up at least three hours studying for one of my continuing medical education modules, and I have more to do tomorrow when I get home. I want to take the test tomorrow and get it off my list.
I let Addie drive the Land Yacht when we went to fetch Isabel from a birthday party, and she did a good job handling the old boat. It made her happy, and that made me happy.
Why did I stay an extra night after planning to leave today? Well, when I begin a real job, there will be many times when I can’t even attend Zona Rosa, and there will be fewer times when I can be here in this crazy but loving place.
Zona Rosa went well. We had about 12 or 13 in attendance, and the readings were good writing. I was amazed at the praise I got for my poetry. The writing from everyone was sound and strong and true.
I miss Clint today more than I have lately, and I’ve been on the verge of tears most of the day. Is this too much happiness for me to bear right now? Or am I just tired? I only know the hole in my heart is oozing sorrow right here in the middle of all this chaotic happiness.
I’m going to bed in hopes my sleeping pill kicks in soon.