Looking Forward

11/28/09:

Friday was anything but black for me. With Thanksgiving behind me, the pressure was off, freeing me to begin looking forward once more. Polly brought the kids by for a visit, and I basked in the energy and liveliness of that family. Addie is still growing taller, and is becoming an impressive young woman, kind and intuitive and funny. Isabel and Michael were all over the place, including the neighbor’s yard, where Michael began to climb into their tree house. Fortunately, Cheryl was home and warned him off because the thing is rotting. Ellery was her usual quiet self. They brought their own lunch and had the rest of the chocolate mousse for dessert. It was a good thing.

I got lonely about 5:00, so the dogs and I went to Petsmart, Wal-mart, Lowe’s and Kroger. By the time we got home, it was after 7:00, and I spent some time on Isabel’s stocking. Parrish called twice and sounded good. I didn’t cry one time.

Now, Christmas is staring down at me, menacing and unmoved by my grief. I am doing minimal decorating - no tree. I spent a good part of yesterday afternoon wondering what I would do for Christmas. Kristy will be in Columbus, Gretchen will be home in Rhode Island, Robert is as depressed as I am, and Emily will be busy with her other family. I started thinking of some place to go where I can take my dogs and skip the whole day, trying to find some way to skip it altogether.